The moment before the dive: how to be fearless

Birds taking off from a wire

Do you know the moment when you are near a cliff or a trampoline and you are preparing to dive? The water is underneath you with its intense blue color and it calls you with its vastness and freshness.

You already know that it will not hurt, you have seen people diving thousands of times. Nevertheless, for the majority of us, it is not enough. There is something blocking you, but what it is?

Your mind.

It is not easy at all turning off the constant noise of our thoughts. There have been days where we even thought that all these ideas and our projects were stupid and senseless.

Fortunately, this kind of thoughts is getting rarer more and more, also because there is no more time to think!

The moment has arrived

Today is the big day. After almost 3 months passed at home with the family warmth and experiencing an alienated city life, today we put on our backpacks again and we return to take a deep breath of the real life.

We can't deny some worries are still present... What will we do? How will we talk to the locals? Where will we go? There are plenty of questions and many people around us ask about this, demanding precise answers. However, at this exact moment, we can give just a very few answers.

But, reflecting on all this, is it really necessary to have all the answers right now?

Maybe, it is sufficient just to listen to our hearts. Filling our head with many if and but, hoping to make a good decision, may not be the best strategy. Therefore, instead of focusing on negative thoughts, we prefer to concentrate on a single important question: "What would you do if you had no fear?"

open hand towards sea and sun

The origin of inaction

Eventually, everything depends on a single word, the root of all evil. FEAR.

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. Most of the time it operates unnoticed, without our awareness of it. In this way, it can efficiently and silently seize our whole life. It can manifest itself in a variety of ways and take different names. It can hide under other negative emotions, but in the end, it is always fear.

Think about it: your fear influence all your single actions and often prevent yourself to do what you would like to do.

Okay, perhaps you are thinking that it will be enough to work on yourself to reduce the strength of this fear, until eliminating it completely. This is certainly the first step to do and it is a energy intensive process which requires willingness and commitment. But it is not sufficient!

In fact, there is another crucial factor of extreme importance: we are heavily influenced by other people's fear! Everyone, without even recognizing it, has a natural tendency to impose his own fear to others, judging that they are real, universal, reasonable and legitimate.

Being yourself

What would happen if, unaware of it, we listen to all these external words and fears? The answer is simple: we would never be able to be totally ourselves.

Who is capable of shaping his own life in order to enjoy it? Only you. But not because others are bad and ugly, essentially just for the fact that only you have the control of your destiny. If you do not care about creating the reality you want to live in, certainly other people will not do it for you.

For this, it is useless and not constructive letting others' opinions influence you. Mostly because with a high probability these opinions are the mirror of their fear.

We are all different, accept it

Nowadays, some of the most common and diffuse fear are the fear of others' judgment and the fear of being different. Conforming makes us feel safe, protected, away from possible judgments and suffering. But do not forget that at the same time this prevents you to truly express yourself and your uniqueness.

It is impossible to please everyone and we are not cookie-cuttered! Giving excessive importance to others and to their thoughts, you forget to live your life.

poppy in a field of yellow flowers

An apparent safety

Anyway, the biggest fear, which is also the origin of the other types, is the lack of safety feeling and the fear of the unknown.

The common lifestyle adopted by the majority of people around us is precisely dictated by this perennial need of safety.

People crave for a stable workplace, for a constantly increasing amount of money to cover any possible eventuality and troubles, for solid and longterm friendships, for stable and highly dependent relationships, for a big settled house and many other things.

We pamper ourselves in all these securities, without noticing that in reality, they are not real, they do not exist. On the contrary, living with the obsession of constant seeking them slowly wears ourselves out.

Getting out from own shell

What we consider a secure territory is the world we already know. Unfortunately, (or fortunately!) life happens just outside of our comfort zones.

When we observe the outside world from our little and static shell and permit to our fear to dominate us, all around we see huge, horrible and frightful monsters. But actually, in almost all the cases, these monsters, if you look closer, reveal to be kind, sparkling and colorful fairies.

Should you be afraid of the unknown?

Do not speak with people you meet in the street, do not hitchhike, do not go to strangers' houses, do not travel far away, never trust anyone... These are just some of the phrases we have been told in a loop during these last months.

Apparently, these sentences could look reasonable, in reality, they are the result of the fear of the unknown.

Is it true that everything that we do not know is dangerous? Actually, just travelling a bit is enough to realize that the unknown, once it becomes concrete, it is not something to be afraid of!

In fact, during the last months, we met amazing people and had astonishing experiences, exactly at the moment when we decided to throw ourselves into this unknown world!

This society made us think that people are dangerous, instead, we discovered that in almost all the cases, it is not true. People are happy to listen and to help you when you are ready to do the same.

sign with nothing written in snowy mountains

The solution exists

The antidote which we have personally found to all this fear and so we have worked hard on it during all this time is just being connected with ourselves and believe in our capabilities.

Here we have sensational news: each and every one of us is able to succeed in front of new situations. Yes, every one. And brilliantly, also.

It is impossible to be acquainted with everything ex-ante, you move forward by little steps because the life is made of single actions. In front of a new problem you analyze the situation, search for a solution and react putting in practice what is the most reasonable thing to do.

Being overwhelmed by worries and excessive thoughts (especially negative ones), you obtain the contrary of what you were looking for! In this way, in fact, you channel a lot of your energies towards the opposite direction.

Hence, for us, the solution has been and it still is do not think too much and do not have expectations (nor good nor bad).

Do not underestimate the environment

Moreover, we understood that is incredibly important to surround ourselves with people who have a similar mindset, as much as possible. Those who go beyond the worries and hence those who are still able to dream. It does not matter if they are concretely making true the same projects as yours or are willing to do it. Simply, it is enough that they are capable of infusing that pinch of positive energy in order to continue to believe in your dreams.

If this does not happen, inevitably you get literally sucked into the vortex of negativity, stagnation and conformity

As for now, we can confess that it has been not simple at all resist all these 3 months. We had some moments of destabilization. Our inner energies have been greatly consumed when we tried to remain intact, to remain ourselves.

Not all the people with whom we dealt with in this period encouraged us to go on with our journey. Instead, it has to be said that there have been many others who made us perceive all their warmth and support (taking advantage of this moment, we want to say a huge THANK YOU )

But now, we can finally say that we made it!

How we head out on our journey

In the end, we decided to not plan down to the last detail our adventure. Rather, we may say that we almost put aside all the details.

Considering the information available which we can find remotely, we could never had a general picture which reflects the reality of life in South-East Asia.

We have chosen to not read too much into all the questions, the worries and fear which have arisen in our minds. We prefer to tackle the problems at the moment where they appear. We want to immerse ourselves in the unknown step by step, without precluding any possibilities and opportunities, looking at the world with a child's eyes.

A deranged and crazy vision? Who knows, only the time will tell. For sure, it is the solution which most belongs to us in this moment of big changes in our lives.

In all honesty, we do not have any idea of what we are going to do in the next days and months. Nevertheless, we will continue to try transforming our fear in curiosity, willingness to live life. And to enjoy this trip of a new world discovery!